My testimony

I was born in a Hindu family. I grew up worshipping idols. From a very young age, I remember a search in my heart for God. At the age of 15, my parents gifted me a Bhagawat Gita and I started reading it. Every day I would wake up at 5:30 am, take my chanting beads to the terrace, and walk and chant the mantras 108 times. After that, I would pray and read the Gita for some time. My one constant prayer was – “God, if you are real I must know you.” This God encounter in Hindu culture was called Moksha. 

According to that book, there were 4 stages in human life. In the first stage, you are a bachelor, then a householder, then you separate yourself from your family and search for God and finally you enter a stage where you deny all physical comforts and try to meet God alone. I was shocked by reading that. I wondered how people were so confident they would be alive until then. What would happen if we died in a previous stage? What if we never get to know God? According to Hinduism, if you die without knowing God you will go through a cycle of rebirth. You might be born again as anything. By a slight chance, if you were born again as a human being, you could restart your pursuit of God. I felt that this was leaving too many things to chance. 

I decided it is the birthright of a human being to do everything in his capacity to meet his creator and to know the true purpose of his life. And so I pursued after God in many temples and ashrams. I chanted the mantras they taught me. Although all these places were very peaceful and serene and uplifted my soul, they never gave me a permanent solution. I did not meet God anywhere. Wherever I went, I felt I only got a cup of water to drink, and then I would feel thirsty again. As I continued this pursuit for 9 years, I got married, and our family grew. 

My husband had a transferable job, and we came to a place called Lonavala for one of his postings. At that time, he was a junior officer and could not find accommodation for us at the naval base. He stood near the office, wondering what to do. Suddenly, out of the blue, a senior officer approached him and asked him in Tamil how he could help him. My husband explained his predicament. That officer immediately booked a room under his name for us. We had never met him before. When I moved to Lonavala, I met this officer and his family. They were having a prayer meeting in their house on that day. When we were introduced to the pastor, he prayed for us. I felt a warm presence covering me as he prayed. (That was the Holy Spirit. I was unaware). 

A week later, they invited me to their church. In my pursuit of God, I was open to visiting any place of worship. So I went. There they sang this song – What can wash away my sins? Nothing but the blood of Jesus. What can make me whole again? Nothing but the blood of Jesus. I was a voracious reader, and so when the couple gifted me a Bible, I took it and started reading it just like any other book.

One day I was alone in the room and I casually picked up the Bible and started reading sitting on the bed. It was a random page. But one sentence popped out that day. “Know that I am the Lord. Your God.” And I knew. A wave of shock, remorse for my sins, and joy of hearing from God for the first time hit me all at once. I slid down from the bed and started crying. I sensed the presence of God and Jesus in that room. I understood the meaning of the song they had sung earlier in the church. Jesus is THE ONLY WAY to God. He died on the cross FOR ME so I could receive forgiveness from God. I said – “God. I now know you are there. (I know you are real).” 

I told my husband about what happened and he believed me! Three days later, I was sitting on the same bed with my son. I suddenly wondered – “Did I just imagine it all? Or did I really meet God?” The next moment I turned to see my son choking. His eyes went up and he started losing consciousness. My husband came running in hearing my screams and somehow we got dressed and picked up our child God provided a driver on the way who drove us down to the hospital because we were too hysterical to drive. Thankfully the hospital was right down the street. No doctor was available but a junior sailor came running out. God gave him the wisdom to immediately clear the food passage of our baby (his lips had gotten blue by this time and he was completely out). Then he regained consciousness and started crying. 

Although he was Ok the doctor advised we admit him. So we had to stay in the hospital for 3 days. While my son slept under heavy medication, I paced the corridors thinking about all that had happened. Throughout that time I felt the Presence of God. It was like I could sense God in the plants kept in the corridor. The sun. The breeze. Everything was God. By the end of that hospital stay, I was convinced beyond a doubt that I had met my God, and He was real in my life and He was here to stay. I finally felt my thirst was satiated.