Kingdom Relational Structures

Relational structures that enable God to move freely in our lives

Sermon by Pas. Alex

Relationship or relational structures are of utmost importance in the Bible.

Key relationships in a man’s life

1. Relationship between God and man

2. Marriage

3. Family

4. Church

5. Interpersonal relationships

RELATIONSHIP BETWEEN GOD AND MAN 

37 And He said to him, “‘you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind.’ 38 This is the great and foremost commandment. 39 The second is like it, ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’

Matthew 22:37-39

Without fulfilling v 37 you cannot fulfill 39. If you don’t learn to love Christ in increasing measure you cannot love the one next to you. As you grow in loving Him you will grow towards selflessness.

MARRIAGE & FAMILY 

But not one has done so who has a remnant of the Spirit. And why the one? He was seeking a godly offspring. Be careful then about your spirit, and see that none of you deals treacherously against the wife of your youth.

Malachi 2:15

Build a strong family foundation. Talk to your children about the principles of God at all possible times. Children should learn to love the Lord at a young age.

 “Hear, O Israel! The Lord is our God, the Lord is one! You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might. These words, which I am commanding you today, shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your sons and shall talk of them when you sit in your house and when you walk by the way and when you lie down and when you rise up.

Deuteronomy 6: 4 – 7

1. Teaching your children about God has to be intentional

• Make it clear who is the head of the family
• Your children should point Jesus to meet all their needs
• Be intentional in modeling God dependency
• Be intentional in creating a God conscious atmosphere

2. Interact with your children

• Engage them in discussions not just about words but life situations
• Engage and understand their thoughts and march in the right direction

3.  Be involved

• Be deeply involved in children’s life
• Children should also be involved in parents life
• Kids grow up observing how parents live

4. Purpose of family

• Principles of relationships are learnt
• It is the place of character formation
• Responsibility and accountability is learnt
• Experiencing and understanding of love of God happens
• Living for purpose of God is inculcated
• Man and woman are made in the image of God
• The first place the child experiences love of God is with parents

What does the environment of a God-centric family looks like?

• They learn to love and honor God
• They are conscious of how they carry themselves
• They are conscious of how they relate to others and how they talk to each other
• There is importance of spending time with God
• Importance of reading word
• Importance of prayer
• Spiritual disciplines are learnt and practiced
• Respect and gratefulness is practiced
• Values and principles are taught
• Children’s self esteem and confidence is determined by the environment
• Grace, love, forgiveness, acceptance and kindness is practiced  
• Helping the poor and less fortunate is practiced
• Faithful stewards of the gospel looking for opportunity to touch one life at a time

Parents expect Sunday school to train the children. In 2 hours no one can change the effect of inaccurate living of parents the children witness throughout the week. Family is the incubator where the children are raised for God.

Parents sometimes say where did my child learn to behave so badly? Speak so badly? The revelation is the child is a model of the parent.

Train up a child in the way he should go, Even when he grows older he will not abandon it.

Proverbs 22:6

We are preparing the child for what is coming in the future. What are the things we should train them in?

• Don’t introduce them to a religion
• Religious mindset causes the person to turn to something else when they feel better about that “something else”
• Introduce them to Jesus Christ
• Don’t give them do’s and don’ts of their religion. Eg. No Bible no breakfast
• Introduce them to a relationship with Jesus
• As they continue in the relationship they will be in the safety of the relationship

Create an environment to positively impact mind and thinking pattern

• Introduce them to reading and other interests
• Every child carries the same potential
• How are we seeing the child? Don’t underestimate them
• They are like sponges
• They have the capacity to absorb everything they see and hear
• They are quick learners

Raise a generation that is better than you

• Don’t follow the same way you were raised
• Raise them higher
• Read books of various interests
• Don’t make children champions in Bible quiz
• Then they become irrelevant to the world
• They know nothing about the world
• Observe the creativity and talent
• Give ways to expand
• You are only stewards for your children
• Nurture their every talent
• Protect and provide good education
• It is your responsibility to develop. Fan into flame the passion
• Years 3 to 16 passions change
• Help them make the right choice
• Value systems should be taught
• Social awareness should be taught
• Train them to take responsibilities to bring a change, cultivate compassion for the less fortunate
• They should grow up in a wholesome manner
• They should have a balanced life
• They should not be too spiritual and irrelevant to the world or too worldly and not spiritual at all

For I am mindful of the sincere faith within you, which first dwelled in your grandmother Lois and your mother Eunice, and I am sure that it is in you as well. 

2 Timothy 1:5

For people like Charles Wesley their mothers played a major role.

It is said of Wesley’s mother – “Although she never preached a sermon or published a book or founded a church, she is known as the Mother of Methodism. Why? Because two of her sons, John Wesley and Charles Wesley, as children consciously or unconsciously will, applied the example and teachings and circumstances of their home life.”

Mothers can build or break the family.

• If your wife does not grow spiritually you are in trouble
• Women can multitask
• They are strong emotionally
• Women can discern what is wrong in the family and clear it up
• Women should be growing internally and in maturity.
• If they don’t keep pace with you then the enemy can attack you through them
• Example: Job’s wife. When Job went through the trials of his life she should have said “Lord is with us we can make it through.”
• Her perception was different cause of immaturity
• In the Bible uneducated men could write books
• Spirit is not limited by natural limitations
• As the head of the family lay hands on the children and your wife and impart into their lives
• Speak the Word of God into their lives because one day it will bear fruit
• Keep speaking the word, prophesying and imparting
• Take responsibility for your spouse
• Don’t measure by involvement in ministry
• For a  man to reach his full potential his spouse must be wise
• Half of the grace needed to complete the assignment is in your wife

Example: A village man raised by Papa Jonathan David could hold international meetings later on. I asked him what turned his life around? He replied impartation and the Word of God released into my life. There is power in impartation. There is power in the speaking of God’s word. There is power in prophetic prayers. There is power in prophesying into lives.

These are Paul’s prayers for believers. You can start praying them from now.

Ephesians 1:15-23 that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of glory, may give you a spirit of wisdom and of revelation in the knowledge of Him. 18I pray that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened, so that you will know what is the hope of His calling, what are the riches of the glory of His inheritance in the saints, 19and what is the boundless greatness of His power toward us who believe. These are in accordance with the working of the strength of His might 20which He brought about in Christ, when He raised Him from the dead and seated Him at His right hand in the heavenly places, 21far above all rule and authority and power and dominion, and every name that is named, not only in this age but also in the one to come. 22And He put all things in subjection under His feet, and made Him head over all things to the church, 23which is His body, the fullness of Him who fills all in all.

Philippians 1:9-11 And this I pray, that your love may overflow still more and more in real knowledge and all discernment, 10so that you may discover the things that are excellent, that you may be sincere and blameless for the day of Christ; 11having been filled with the fruit  of righteousness which comes through Jesus Christ, for the glory and praise of God.

Colossians 1:9-12 For this reason we also, since the day we heard about it, have not ceased praying for you and asking that you may be filled with the knowledge of His will in all spiritual wisdom and understanding, 10so that you will walk in a manner worthy of the Lord, to please Him in all respects, bearing fruit in every good work and increasing in the knowledge of God; 11strengthened with all power, according to His glorious might, for the attaining of all perseverance and patience; joyously 12giving thanks to the Father, who has qualified us to share in the inheritance of the saints in light.

Start praying over your spouse and your children.

CHURCH

We hardly ever hear of a temple or mosque or gurudwara splitting to form two branches. But it happens in churches.

By this all people will know that you are My disciples: if you have love for one another.

John 13: 35

Mark of a disciple of Christ is love. The way we identify a Christian is how they relate to each other.

We know love by this, that He laid down His life for us; and we ought to lay down our lives for the brothers and sisters.

1 John 3:16

Agape love is the highest form of love; laying down your life for others. It does not mean dying.

Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility consider one another as more important than yourselves; 4do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others. 

Philippians 2: 3, 4

Consider others better than yourself. Look out for the interests of others also.

Above all, keep fervent in your love for one another, because love covers a multitude of sins.

1 Peter 4: 8

Love each other deeply enough to overlook offences. Forgive and forget the offenses.

Since you have purified your souls in obedience to the truth of a sincere love of the brothers and sisters, fervently love one another from the heart

1 peter 1:22

Peter talks this way a lot. He experienced this from Jesus so he could speak about it

Dying to self interest means considering others better than us. We may be joined together due to belonging to the same Church. There may be a superficial relationship for duties and responsibilities. The relationship doesn’t go deep.  There is no depth. In a church setting, people don’t open up about their inner feelings. As long as they don’t open up they cannot grow.

Dynamics of relationships in God’s Kingdom

1. Jonathan and David

So Jonathan made a covenant with the house of David, saying, “May the LORD demand it from the hands of David’s enemies.” 17And Jonathan made David vow again because of his love for him, because he loved him as he loved his own life.

1 Samuel 20: 16, 17

Covenant – Honor the relationship till death. This is the cement that holds every relationship in church.

Basic principles of Covenant

a) Covenant is a lifelong commitment

Now it came about, when he had finished speaking to Saul, that Jonathan committed himself to David, and Jonathan loved him as himself. 2And Saul took him that day and did not let him return to his father’s house. 3Then Jonathan made a covenant with David because he loved him as himself. 4Jonathan stripped himself of the robe that was on him and gave it to David, with his military gear, including his sword, his bow, and his belt. 

1 Samuel 18:1-4

Jonathan’s soul was knit to David. Jonathan heard David speaking. Something stirred in his heart. What we speak carries a frequency. Something in the frequency of David was connecting to Jonathan. He was willing to lay down his life for David.

b) Passion and purpose become one

He said to him, “Do not be afraid, because the hand of Saul my father will not find you, and you will be king over Israel, and I will be second in command to you; and Saul my father knows that as well.” 

1 Samuel 23:17

Jonathan loved David as himself. Jonathan was the rightful heir yet he understood God’s favor upon David’s life. He accepted God’s plan even at the cost of securing his own rights.

The second is like it, ‘YOU SHALL LOVE YOUR NEIGHBOR AS YOURSELF.’

Matthew 22: 39

This is a kingdom principle. Catch the heart of the father. If words, vision and direction don’t connect you won’t finish the race together.

c) Willing to sacrifice to fulfill corporate purpose

Saul wanted Jonathan to ascend to the throne but Jonathan put

a) The purpose of God first

b) The covenant first

It didn’t matter to him if he or David was king because in his heart they both were one. He was willing to sacrifice his own ambitions to fulfill the corporate purpose of God in his life.

Another example of covenant – Ruth and Naomi

Ruth 1:16-18 But Ruth said, “Do not plead with me to leave you or to turn back from following you; for where you go, I will go, and where you sleep, I will sleep. Your people shall be my people, and your God, my God. 17Where you die, I will die, and there I will be buried. May the LORD do so to me, and worse, if anything but death separates me from you.” 18When she saw that she was determined to go with her, she stopped speaking to her about it.

Attitudes to adopt

1. We are inseparable from those we are covenanted with

No persuasion, no rumors, no offences can separate us because it is a choice. We can choose to remain. We will discover each other’s habits and weaknesses. God does not put two perfect people together. In mentoring the people God has given you, He will sharpen you and build you. The type of Pastor God gives you is to make you grow and mature. There is no perfect Pastor. Iron sharpens iron. Issues will come, misunderstanding will come but we are inseparable.

Issues separate relationship. Resolve the issue. Do not cut the relationship because the first principle in lifelong commitment is to stay in the relationship.

God watches us when a situation is not in our favor

What is our attitude?

What is our reaction?

When we give importance to the covenant we give importance to the relationship not the issue.

As believers we must think this way

– God gave people in your life

– God knows the end from the beginning

As you operate in Covenant and love you will be sharpened for God’s purpose.

2. We are connected in destiny to those we’re covenanted with

We have a common destiny, direction and destination. Every action is synchronized to same priority and focus. Pastor and members should have the same destiny. People cannot be going in one direction and the pastor in another direction.

Your direction, activity, action and priority will fall in place. You should recognize the pattern in destiny.

I know that after my departure savage wolves will come in among you, not sparing the flock; 30and from among your own selves men will arise, speaking perverse things to draw away the disciples after them. 

Acts 20:29,30

What do savage wolves do to you?

Savage wolves are those that use you for their benefit. They are with you because they want to boast. They are milking you.

False brethren come from outside to distort work and also from within to stop the work. Be careful of who you relate with and bring to your children. Check background and baggage before allowing mingling within church.

Don’t connect with everybody. Identify partners in destiny.

What do partners in destiny do for you?

Partners in destiny develop you as leaders.

But Barnabas took hold of him and brought him to the apostles and described to them how he had seen the Lord on the road, and that He had talked to him, and how he had spoken out boldly in the name of Jesus at Damascus.

Acts 9:27

Then when he arrived and witnessed the grace of God, he rejoiced and began to encourage them all with resolute heart to remain true to the Lord; 24for he was a good man, and full of the Holy Spirit and faith. And considerable numbers were added to the Lord. 25And he left for Tarsus to look for Saul; 26and when he had found him, he brought him to Antioch. And for an entire year they met with the church And taught considerable numbers of people; and the disciples were first called Christians in Antioch.

Acts 11:23-26

• Barnabas brought Paul back
• Barnabas mentored Paul and developed him into a leader
• He oversaw the growth of Paul as a person
• He brought balance in Paul’s life
• Partners in destiny develop your calling
• They will touch every aspect of your life, and help you develop
• They see your potential and help you move towards that position We should have the same concern about those we are covenanted with.

But I hope in the Lord Jesus to send Timothy to you soon, so that I may also be encouraged by learning news about you. 20For I have no one else [like him who is] so kindred a spirit who will be genuinely concerned for your [spiritual] welfare. 21For the others [who deserted me after my arrest] all seek [to advance] their own interests, not those of Jesus Christ. 22But you know of Timothy’s tested worth and his proven character, that he has served with me to advance the gospel like a son serving with his father.   

Philippians 2:19-22

Timothy carried the same burden. He put the interest of God first just like Paul.

I do not write these things to shame you, but to warn and advise you as my beloved children. 15For even if you were to have ten thousand teachers [to guide you] in Christ, yet you would not have many fathers [who led you to Christ and assumed responsibility for you], for I became your father in Christ Jesus through the good news [of salvation]. 16So I urge you, be imitators of me [just as a child imitates his father]. 17For this reason I have sent Timothy to you, who is my beloved and faithful child in the Lord, and he will remind you of my way of life in Christ [my conduct and my precepts for godly living], just as I teach everywhere in every church. 

1 Corinthians 4:14-17

He will remind you of my ways. Everything we do in life is intentional.

Why people don’t walk in Covenant?

1. Ignorance – They treat spiritual relationships like any other relationship. The truth is God engineered the relationship

2. Selfish or self-centered – They are in a relationship to see what they can get. Example MLM (Multilevel Marketing)

The key to guarding ourselves from selfish agendas is – Don’t have any expectation in any relationship. Don’t expect any benefit. Just be with them for who they are.

3. Hidden agendas

They may have a devious background. They use you as a stepping stone. They fear they may be exposed.

4. Fear

The fear of being hurt or judged, ridiculed or that weaknesses will be exposed. They may become defensive or distanced.

We need people to walk together to grow stronger and overcome together.

There is one body [of believers] and one Spirit–just as you were called to one hope when called [to salvation]– 5one Lord, one faith, one baptism, 6one God and Father of us all who is [sovereign] over all and [working] through all and [living] in all. 7Yet grace [God’s undeserved favor] was given to each one of us [not indiscriminately, but in different ways] in proportion to the measure of Christ’s [rich and abundant] gift.

Ephesians 4:4-7

If you don’t walk in covenant you cannot fulfill this. Will you last the journey?

• ONE BODY – We share one life.

Koinoia – Christian fellowship is also the word that depicts Siamese twins; joined together. Joined twins share the same blood system. They share one life. Such depths can happen as we walk in covenant. We support each other’s wellbeing. We belong to each other in the body. I should watch over my life so I don’t open up a door for the enemy to touch you. When one feels the pain the other must also feel the pain. We show concern and love but do we really feel others pain? It can happen only when we love a brother as our own self.

• ONE SPIRIT – Unity of operation or function.

Same Holy Spirit is given to us all. This brings us into son-ship and brotherhood. The same spirit brings equalization. Holy Spirit cannot be speaking different things to different people.

• ONE HOPE – Purpose and destiny is the same.

Our future is together. It is a collective future. I need to change so all can move towards destiny. Hope makes the heart glad. Distraction and diversion do come. Hope keeps us safe.

• ONE LORD – Unity of governance.

One captain. Our Lord Jesus – the ultimate leader, pastor, master. Government has order, a chain of command. Respect it. Any conflict between the pastor and the believer the word of God is the final word not the emotion. We are here to represent kingdom government to the world. We are the foundation of the truth. We are the model.

• ONE FAITH – Unity of brethren.

There should be unity in relationship. Our only ambition is to crown Jesus as King.

All these, being men of war arrayed in battle formation, came to Hebron with a perfect (committed) heart to make David king over all Israel; and all the rest of Israel were also of one mind to make David king.

1 Chronicles 12:38

Their one desire was to crown David as King over Israel. When we are united we are like minded.

Therefore if there is any encouragement and comfort in Christ [as there certainly is in abundance], if there is any consolation of love, if there is any fellowship [that we share] in the Spirit, if [there is] any [great depth of] affection and compassion, 2make my joy complete by being of the same mind, having the same love [toward one another], knit together in spirit, intent on one purpose [and living a life that reflects your faith and spreads the gospel–the good news regarding salvation through faith in Christ]. 

Philippians 2: 1-2

We must be of the same mind/like-minded. That means – our priority, focus and principles are the same.

• ONE BAPTISM

Once we take baptism we are people of the kingdom. Our corporate destiny is Children of God, not divided by denomination.

Remember our identity -Body of Christ, Kingdom people, not divided by denomination, each one operating in the grace given by God, working together to represent Christ fully as one. We stand as one.